“So do you dance?” comes the inevitable question from everyone we meet after they find out about my Colombian girlfriend introduces her tall pail Scottish boyfriend. My response is now we rehearsed. I roll up my sleeves and turn over my palms to expose deathly pale white skin and say “sorry, white men can’t dance”, and then wait for the inevitable laugh. Whether that laugh comes from pity, acknowledgement of the truth, or nervousness over what I will do next, I have never quite worked out.

This is not a Cinderella type story of how lanky lad who towers over all the south Americans on the dance floor (only in terms of height) became the next dance sensation, but more how he came to appreciate salsa, merengue and all the other types of dancing for the beautiful thing it is.

I still have not figured out how to get your hips and legs to move in different directions at the same type, and I fear I never will, but I treat every small victory as a triumph one being that I can now tell when a song ends and new one starts (you have to listen!). Admit it guys, when you first start out, it really does sound the same.

My advice is simple and I will try and summaries:

1. Get a South American girlfriend. OK, I know the majority of guys reading this are doing so because there existing girlfriend or wife is “dragging” them along to some classes, which most likely clash with something far more important (like doing nothing). Maybe we can skip this one.

2. Real salsa dancing is not about spinning your partner round as fast and as creatively as possible. It’s true, I was as surprised as you.

3. Really listen to the music. I can not emphases this enough. Try and let the music guide your movements, otherwise you will be forever counting 1-2-3-4 1-2-3-4 in your head, and not have to appreciate what else is going on.

4. Have a laugh. I know this can be hard sometimes when you feel like everyone in the club is looking at you (or even worse you are looking at yourself in the mirror), but relaxing and enjoying yourself is just as important here as it is in everything else you do in life. I find alcohol gets me to this stage faster.

5. Got to different clubs, to understand the difference in South American cultures and music. Keep on going to the same place every Friday night, and one of you will get board quickly.

I am by now means there yet, and perhaps I never will be, but at least I know how to go out and have fun when we go dancing.